Monday, March 18, 2013

Friendships in your Twenties.

I have learned a lot about friendships in my early twenties so far.
This isn't going to be the most positive post but this is my opinion, feelings,thoughts and ramblings.
You graduate high school and you have your group of friends you think you will forever be best friends with. How untrue that story is. I remained close with very few of my high school friends. We all went off to different colleges, places, and even countries. Some of use graduated, got married, moved out, and some are even having babies.
Crazy how in a short amount of years how people change. The change isn't the bad part it's that you don't change together anymore. When you are able to make your own decisions you start to make changes different from each other.
 I have a hard time with change. Don't we all? 
I want everything the same as it's always been because it's comfortable. At the same time I seek adventure and I'm a curious cat that I love to seek new things out too.
My friendships have drastically changed since high school & even more drastically since I got married.
I never thought getting married would change some of my friendships with people but it totally does. Even having a wedding changes friendships. I am so happy to never have a wedding again. I loved it & it was beautiful but excuse me it was a pain in the ass at the same time.
People get so frustrating during what's supposed to be a very happy time. 
Anyways, I would say especially since getting married I have learned a lot about people I thought were my friends.
In friendships I have very high expectations of people. I think because I am that type of friend I expect it back. How untrue that is!
I'm learning but I look for:
Common ground
I have a very hard time with shallow people. I really don't understand how people have more than five people they call their "best friends" 
It's very hard to really maintain a deep friendship with someone let alone more than five of them. You still have your significant other & family to pour into. I don't understand that.
I have experienced great loss of friends in the past year. Mostly due to finding out how different we really are. Also because of some of the qualities I named above. It was really hard but really humbling. I have had a chance to sift through the people who no longer grew me, poured into me and wanted the best for me.
Now I have the people who do all that for me and I do all of that for them. It's been very hard and hurtful but I have learned a lot. What friendship really means and how to be an even better friend. I adore the people I am friends with and constantly remind them of how much they mean to me. Blogging and social networking has also been an incredible way to meet new people. I have connected with people via internet that I would have never met otherwise. It's really amazing and I enjoy getting to know these friends better.
Your twenties change you and some friends will stick by you forever, some you think will stick by you forever, don't, and you will meet new ones a long the way. 
It's okay and I look forward to the people I will meet in my lifetime. I know which ones are stuck with me for life and which ones may only be here for a season. I have learned to let them go, live their life and let them figure out for themselves what friendship is to them. It isn't the same for everyone. 
What do you think makes a good friend? How are you a good friend?
Have your friendships changed since you moved away, got married, had a baby etc?

Love Forever,
Chel Chel
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  1. Life lessons, little sister. We all go through this. Some of us are forced to discover this sooner than others. :)

  2. Oh, I think you just read my journal! This is so true and is exactly what I've been trying to process the last few months. Love your perspective on this!

  3. Umm I completely agree! Obviously we both have seen changes over the past few years but I know you have found the people in your life that are here to stay! I think the biggest thing I have learned is that not every friend has to have the same role in your life. I love that each close friend I have has their own purpose. You my friend, are amazing and I love our friendship!

  4. There is so much truth in what you have said. I am nearly 20 years out of high school, and cannot imagine myself still being friends with many of my HS friends. While I think it's important to be social with many, investing in a few friends, who you know are true friends, is much more important!